Here's Johnny!!

There is a scene in "The Shining" where Jack chases Danny through a frozen maze. He's running from his once-warm father. That reminds me of my life. I run through my own confusing maze. My eating disorder chases me, trying to grab a hold of me. Daily it feels as though I'm growing weary, but my mental drive evokes my second wind. I think the longer I run, the more tired Ana grows. This week is proof. I've been going crazy, but I've been able to fight the urge to wave the white flag and just stop eating. I think I'm proud of myself.

Anyway, my speech professor said something last week that made me laugh, but I think it's rather accurate. She said, "Sometimes the glass is half-empty. Sometimes you just spill the whole damn thing." I think kids constantly bump the table. You know that whole definition of insanity? That's fits in with my next thought.

Ok, today I'm going to talk about kids. They have lost their DAMN minds. They come out of the womb and try to sit up before they're able. Then they want to cry when they tip over. They try to go from crawling to running, and that has like the same outcome. They try to feed themselves before they can even speak, and the bowl's empty and so are their stomachs. They want to cook before they can spell cook, and they touch a hot pot and need their boo-boo kissed.

It gets WORSE as they get older. They stay out late with the wrong crowd, and they get brought home in cop cars. They stay up too late and fall asleep in class the next day. They have sex before they're ready and end up pregnant.

Wise up, children. Your parents don't tell you things to harm you, they tell you to keep your dumb asses from getting hit by busses or catching on fire. It seems like you can't say anything to them nowadays. I remember someone was talking about why parents can't hit their kids nowadays. Because kids now have GUNS. What in the world?! I don't have any kids, but I feel as though I am young AND old enough right now to say that kids need ass whoopings from time to time. My future children will know not to mess with me. Curse at me, and you'll be screaming bloody REDRUM.

I remember once when I was like 16 I was getting smart with my mom as I was coming downstairs. Would you believe I fell down those steps while I was mouthing off?

Start showing respect for your parents, or else you might as well lie on train tracks and play chicken. What happens when a dog bites its owner? It gets put down. Why should kids be any different? Fluffy knows not to bite the hand that feeds her, what makes you different Jessica? You need to be put down or put out. That sounds fair.

STOP PLAYING RUSSIAN ROULETTE WITH THE PEOPLE WHO ARE GOING TO BAIL YOUR DUMB ASS OUT WHEN YOU STEAL A CAR.

All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. Well all play and no work will get Jack's butt kicked out of the house.

Long time no blog

So I know I've been MIA, but I've been really busy. I've been chasing down interviews and ringing up disgruntled grandparents at Gap Kids. I've been so busy that I've been combining tasks. I study on the treadmill, I write at work on the back of receipts. I've been writing my queries in bio class. I'm kinda happy that my feature writing prof is letting me run free. Just as long as all my assignments get done. This week I have 10 internship apps to send out, and I still haven't finished my cover letters or my new resume. I guess since I'm a writer everyone just assumes I have everything in the bag. I also must think of my speech topic. I wanted it to be how to give a cat a bath. There's also the option of how to taste wine. Whatever I do it has to have some significance to my life. Dawn tolde me to do chakra meditation, but that isn't significant to me. The cat bath does and the wine (family of alcoholics lol). Whatever I do it has to be taken care of by tomorrow.

Tom met the family this weekend. Yes, and I met his kids. I don't know what I'm still doing with him. Maybe I like him because he makes me feel wanted? Maybe I don't like him because of his age? I'm indifferent about having him around. That's right, old guy is still in my life.

After he left, I felt like getting into some trouble. Dawn said go live a little. Hmmm... go act without thinking? I'd be thinking afterwards, but she told me not to think-just act. She and Phil told me to pack an outfit for work and said they'd see me the next night. So, I did and headed to Tom's house. So what ended up happening? He gave me a foot massage and we watched the world series. Yup, I got into a lot of trouble. LOL. After I left, I was glad that nothing happened. Not thinking is overrated...

27 Hours in a Day

I am so beat up right now. I was trying to climb out of my bedroom window onto the roof for the first time, and I kinda fell out. Well, not kinda. My life flashed before my eyes. HAHA. Then when I was trying to climb back in, I fell in.

Darn it, my weekend got crazy insane, and it's just beginning. I have two deadlines Monday for my internship. I have a speech to write for class, I'm taking out my micros. I have to work, I'm going to the hair salon and I have to go take care of the event listings for the newspaper. I think I'm also going to see the Clintons and Bidens on Sunday. I need to study.

I got a C on my biology test. Not satisfied. I need to bring that grade up. I have a ton of extra credit that will bring my final grade up, but it would still be nice to not have to worry about that up front.

Today was rather interesting. I went to class, I went to work. At work today I was by myself. Friday night, Gap Kids. By myself? Crazy. There was this little kid who kept screaming, then he got this little girl to start screaming. Then the two of them started in a baby's face. The baby was crawling around on the floor. Who lets their baby crawl around on a mall floor? That had me scratching my head. Especially considering kids pee on themselves and leave puddles on our floor.

I am down 7 lbs, borderline underweight again. That wasn't purposely done, though. It excites me and scares me all at the same time. The weight I was at was medically safe. This one is more comfy for me, but would be unnerving for the fam if they knew. I'm actually a little pissed because I bought two pairs of size four pants and they're starting to get baggy. What the heck am I supposed to do since I gave my old ones away? Whatever goes down, I'm NOT drinking anymore Ensure Plus. That's for sure.

Odd ball

I do not discredit science, but it we got here through evolution, then why aren’t we still evolving? We watched an interesting video in philosophy the other day. It was all about the new advances being made in discovering the origin of man. The new findings contradict what we supposedly already know, but we just close our minds to only hear what we want. This is a knowledge filter.

This leads to today’s philosophical topic. Those who are close-minded get left behind. We put ourselves in theoretical boxes, but many times it’s out of fear. Parents are their children’s knowledge filters. Does it benefit us to shelter our children or does it stifle their growth? Are children who are exposed to a lot ruined, or are they just wiser?

Last year I read Plato’s The Republic, and the professor this year has us looking at the “Allegory of the Cave.” In it there are a bunch of prisoners who are chained and all they can see are the shadows in front of them on the wall. They don’t know they are prisoners, and they know nothing about the sun or what is outside of the cave. They are challenged to break free from those mundane surrounds. I thought about what I would do in that situation. Do I break free from what I know and go out and up towards the light? Honestly, I think I would persuade someone to try it out and come back and tell me. LOL I wouldn’t do something like that alone. I honestly don’t know what I would do, I have a history of jumping in head first. My impulses have gotten me in trouble in the past, hence the reason why I would send someone else out exploring. Okay, I’m getting off topic. Back to the story. The prisoners did not want to believe that they were prisoners. They were fine with their shadows.

Now, I will tie this back to parenting. I was very sheltered growing up, unlike my cousins. Who was better off? Some parents choose to be constant safety nets for children and shields keeping out questionable material. I did not see the world early on in my life. Is that a problem? I don’t believe I'm stunted, but I don’t believe my cousins are either. I think past childhood it’s all up to us to handle our business.

I think all of this goes beyond the knowledge filter. Some people are content with their own “shadow worlds.” My family is content with their existences. If they weren’t wouldn’t they just try to change? TRUE learning is turning away from what we know. We must criticize everything and be our own guide. We can’t control anyone else’s destiny for learning. I am an odd ball because I challenge everything. I left the state to go school, I’m living about two hours from where I grew up. I’m taking on a field that is not always successful. None of this is “safe.” That's okay with me!

Sunday

Ok, so I'm just getting off of work at Gap Kids. My days are pretty funny because I deal with soccer moms and screaming children. Would you believe that soccer moms are the biggest shop lifters? It's crazy how much merchandise we lose daily-more than the adult side, that's for sure. Here are some of my favorite tales from work:

A woman walked in with her young son. He had to be like 4, and he was asking her a question. She said, "Shut up you little shit," and he repeated her. She freaked out and said, "Don't you dare talk to mommy like that!!!"

One lady made her eight year old cry. They were going on vacation and the girl invited two friends, but only one was allowed to go. The mom started screaming at her, blaming her for all her life's problems. The littel girl started crying hysterically.

A kid tried to walk out of the store with a mannequin-enough said there.

This lady was yelling at her kid in a stroller. She kept screaming, "Sit!! Sit!!" over and over, and the little boy started barking. LMAO

One lady started smacking her kids around in the store. She dragged them out of there crying.

Today, however, I didn't deal with any craziness-just busy work. There were a lot of customers, and I was main cashier. Today this lady told me to go further than retail. LOL, I wasn't offended, I told her I'm a college student, and I will. Hmmm... The customers say that I really know how to sell stuff, so I should go into a field that requires persuasion. I do admit, I am not afraid to engage in a conversation, but I think journalism will do for me. Hey, it kinda rocks my socks.

That reminds me of something. A lot of people who work there, REALLY work there. I know my next move-well I kinda do. I freak out now about the thought of not having a career, but what about those people who are older and depend on this work? When I say older, I mean over 25. After that, you're kinda outta school, and should be starting some kind of career. I'm so high strung that I would not be able to live with myself. I guess I let my family and the media influence me enough to feel like I have to MAKE IT in order to make it. Hey, I'm still young, so I have some time to screw up and change my mind, so I really can't worry about it now.