The 20 year old body is resilient, strong, and hard as a rock-no matter what size or shape.
At 20, someone can look as old as they want, but the youth can always be seen in the eyes.
The beauty is not just physical. 20 means trying to see how far you can get before your birthday. You test all sorts of limits, challenge every word thrown at you. Your life is just beginning. You crawl for a day then immediately start running. Only to end up back under your family's wing, safe from your own craziness.
At 20 you live freely, getting up and going as long as funds are permissive. There is no "tied down." You can take off of work and go as you please.
Feel free to dream. There are so many years ahead of you that it is okay to change your college major like you change shoes. You have enough time to get it right.
Around 20 you might meet someone who sweeps you off of your feet, and at this age, it's ok to just have fun. There's no need to feel obligated to anyone. You have a while before settling down may enter your mind, so why get serious if you don't want to?
The firsts around this age are astounding-buying yourself a car for the first time, getting your first apartment, being in your first serious relationship, and taking a solo trip for the first time.
With all these glories of youth, why would I waste my time with your washed-up, 36 year old self? You have EXPIRED. You have children, and I'm having too much fun to be someone's step mother. I want you to dream with me, and grow up with me. You've done all your dreaming and have tasted the world. Your current job is your career. You are done for. Me? My life has just begun. So, why should I let you stifle my growth?
Sunday, November 30, 2008
Tuesday, November 25, 2008
So I am coming from under my rock to tell you all that I am terrified of Thursday. It has been forever since I haven't feared Thanksgiving. In recovery or not, everyone like me is on edge. My solution? I'm not celebrating it. I'm going to knock back an ambien and bury my head under the blanket all day. This way I can protect myself from the anxiety and spare anyone else from having to see me. I feel like I'm getting soooo fat. I'd actually prefer to just... deal with my issues myself. With my cats lol.
HOWEVER, Saturday is my family function here. Hmmm... Maybe it's not the holiday, maybe it's the social eating that scares me. Maybe it's the fact that everyone will meet my boyfriend. Maybe it's the people in my family that I roll my eyes at. Who knows. Pray for me!!!